The Story of the Rev

This letter has been in circulation since the 70's - not sure where it came from, but if you google "The Reverend Elton E. Jones" you'll find it.

Apparently one of my air attack officers, Tom, got mailed this letter back in the late 70's - he then used it to send on to any other guys who he felt needed some levity. Over the years this became Tom's "thing". He is now the Reverend - Doug is the Pope and we have a few others mixed in here. Sacraligious? Probably. But all in good fun.

anyways, here is the letter. Imagine the shock of receiving this in the mail? We have the original copy sent to Tom here, it's freakin' hilarious. So official looking.

Dear Brother Tom,

Perhaps you have heard of my nationwide temperance campaign. Each year for the past decade, I have made a tour of Texas, Florida, and southern Georgia, up through Indiana, Iowa and Illinois - delivering sermons on the evils of drinking. I have been accompanied on this tour by my young friend and assistant, Clyde Lindstrom. Clyde, a man of good family and excellent background, is a pathetic example of a life ruined by excessive indulgence in whiskey and women.

Clyde has always appeared with me at my lectures - sitting on the platform wheezing and staring at the audience through bleary, bloodshot eyes, sweating profusely, picking his nose, wetting his pants, passing gas and making obscene gestures while I pointed him out as an example of what overindulgence can do to a person.

Last fall, Clyde died. A mutual friend, Gene McDougall, has given me your name and I wonder if you would be available to take Clyde's place on this year's spring tour.

Yours in faith,
The Venerable Reverend Elton Jones