Monday, June 9, 2008

A Comprehensive List of Food I Don't Eat

It's been brought to my attention (rather abruptly in fact, several times) that I am a rather picky eater. I never thought I was, but lately I think it's time to just admit to it. Yes. I am picky. If I don't like something I don't eat it. Simple as that. If my son doesn't like something, I don't make him eat it. Within reason of course. I mean, if he liked something yesterday and doesn't like it today, I'm more inclined to suppose he just doesn't FEEL like eating it today as opposed to genuinely not liking it. I still have horrid memories of family dinners of liver and onions or onion stuffed quiche when I was a child. And of being forced to eat it. I know food isn't cheap and there is starving people and all that, but in this country it is thankfully abundant and there are loads of options. Food is something to be savoured, enjoyed. Meals should be relaxing and pleasant. Memories of eating should be good, not wreathed in feelings of nausau and frustration. That being said, here is the list of food I don't eat.

1. BEETS

Hideous little buggers these. Red bits of tangy nastiness. I can't even describe the flavour, it's just too awful. I feel disgruntled when I even see one of these out in the world.

2. SALMON

I dunno. I just don't like it. Fresh or salt water, farmed or game, fried, baked, poached, or BBQ'd - I don't like it. It just tastes.....fishy.

3. LIVER

I don't even need to say anything here. Yuck.

4. RAISINS

Oh my goodness do I ever despise raisins. The texture, the taste, the wrinkly little elderly grape appearance. BLECK. I do, however, love grapes. Funny story here, Mel made a birthday cake for Deb a few years back, just that day Deb and I had been happily discussing our shared loathing of raisins and when we got to Mel's house for Deb's birthday BBQ guess what the cake was? Carrot cake filled with raisins. Not only did it have raisin's in it, but Mel had accidentally spilled EXTRA into the batter. The next year, Mel forgot and made raisin carrot cake again. It was.....unpleasant. Anyways, I can't say enough about how much I dislike raisins.

5. CORN (except for anything made with cornmeal - that I like)

I dunno. Just don't like it. Plus it gets stuck in my teeth and that bothers me.

6. ZUCCHINI

Stringy, mushy bit of ick. Not a big fan. The texture upsets me and the taste, well, it does not please my palate.

7. Whole Grains, Cherries, Un-cooked Nuts and any Fruit seed or pit

Ok, these I do not dislike. I would eat them if I could but I can't. You see, the skins on whole grains, nuts and pits and seeds of most fruit has trace amounts of naturally occuring arsenic in them. I am allergic to arsenic. Or hyper-sensitive to it, whatever you want to call it. What it comes down too is eating these things makes my throat swell up and breathing gets a little dicey.

8. MUSTARD

It tastes like how I would imagine purreed weeds to taste. Plus it's too yellow.

9. Any Fruit / Meat combination (with the exception of pineapple in S/S pork)

Fruit and meat do not belong together. This includes pork and apple sauce, chicken and any fruit, turkey and cranberry sauce.....I've had many a perfectly good meat dish ruined by fruit. The worst was a chicken with apricot fiasco. The flavours just don't blend for me. I like my savoury to be savoury and my sweet to be sweet.

10. CHOCOLATE CAKE

Ummmm......ya. I know. Odd. But I don't like it. Especially if paired with chocolate icing. It's not that I have anything against chocolate, I'm fond of it, but chocolate cake is just beyond the pale. It's too much, too rich and just bleh.

10-b BLACK FORREST CAKE

A combination of mushy cherries (ick) and chocolate cake (double ick). Not my style at all. If I have to eat it to be polite I mush the cherry bit around on my plate to make it look like I'm just a messy eater as opposed to having not eaten it at all.

11. FRUIT/CHRISMAS CAKE

Those little fruit bits? Gross.

12. BROWN RICE

I feel like I'm eating bugs and it makes my stomach feel all pokey.

13. KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN

It's the only food that immediatly, and violently makes me disturbingly ill. Pair that with a shot of tequilla and I'm legally dead.

So ya....there ya go. I'm pretty sure I forgot a few. But since I get teased about this all the time I thought I'd just come clean and throw this out there.

I am picky. Hear me roar.

9 comments:

Duncan said...

Um - what to say...dear God! I knew about all of these things, but seeing them in print is another thing all together. Lordy, lordy - yer a picky one m'dear. Good news about the cake though - more for me! Think I'm gonna fullfill that KFC hankering tonight btw, followed with a box of raisins, perhaps some liver pate, and a big old slice of the Black Forest!

therzo said...

How dare you say those things about raisins? They were grapes once. And if you have a problem with raisins, you have a problem with grapes as far as I'm concerned. And, thus, you have a problem with me.

By the way, raisins, or even better dates, are an excellent addition to any green salad.

Next time I see you don't be surprised to have raisins flying at you through the air. Maybe you won't even see me.

Erin said...

Damn! See! I knew I forgot something. Dates - I hate dates. And figs. Yuck.

littlemansmom said...

Honey, somehow I'm thinking that you have far too much time on your hands...LOL.....Hmmmmmm, I wonder HOW I came to this conclusion...LOL

Erin said...

Oh ya...WAY too much time. Sitting in our mini NASA (only difference is it's smaller, and doesn't have as much cool stuff...oh and we don't deal with space...and don't have radar thingys...ok ok) for 12 hours a day IN THE RAIN. sigh.

~Shiona~ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
~Shiona~ said...

I feel the same way about some of these foods as well. Kudos to the picky eaters!

rafale said...

Wouldn't had it been easier to tell us what you eat??
It's gone be hard to invite you in any restaurant ..... where i live :-).

Greets ,

Erin said...

Yes but I hear that Belgium has good cheese and chocolate. I love cheese and chocolate! *grin*