Thursday, June 5, 2008

The Devil in my Lunch


OK. Here's the deal.

Yes. I do have an amazing boyfriend who cooks like a culinary angel. Not only can he cook, but he is thoughtful and when he knows I'll be staying over he makes me my very own little container of whatever he created for dinner so that I can have a delicious, healthy lunch the next day at work.

Oh yes, he is a dream. I'm envied by the girls at work and the men make sure their own women never find out about it, so that expectations are not built up in their own worlds. If you were to call me a lucky girl you would be dead on.

But.

Oh yes, there is a but. This morning I received quite a shock. I opened my container to show one of the pilots what I had today (he cooks too and is always curious about what fantastic meal I have in my lunch bag). So I open the container, sniffing appreciatively at the aroma of BBQ pork and roasted potatoes when.......

what's that? What IS that?? WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY IS IN MY LUNCH?

Worlds crumbled....entire civilizations exploded into nothing but fiery memories of apocolyptical horror....time as I know it stopped.

THERE IS A LITTLE BIT OF THE DEVIL IN MY LUNCH.

Sitting there, NOT minding it's own business, touching a delectible potato, staining it with it's evil essence...is.....I can't say it....I will say it....A BEET.

Now I adore this man of mine, but I must point out that he does know of my extreme, almost phobic aversion to beets.....I can picture him now, sitting in his hidden lair, rubbing his hands together, chuckling a fiendish chuckle that slowly and eerily rises into a cresendo of evil laughter

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

*sob* I may have to take the rest of the day off. My delicate and fragile psyche just can't take this kind of torment.


9 comments:

Duncan said...

Suck it up Princess - they're good for you, and they turn your pee a lovely shade of red. Which is fun! You're all groggy in the morning, having a leak; and faced with the terrible thought that somehow blood is coming out of you! Then you remember you ate the king of vegetables the night before. Lovely, delicious, nutritional sweet assed beets!

Erin said...

Baby, I will not eat beets. you can't make me. Nope. Will NOT happen. But the rest was amazing as usual!

joz said...

damn girl I would have taken those Beets!

Melinda Zook said...

Yuckie...I can't tolerate beets either!

But you still are a lucky gal!

Duncan said...

Listen to Melinda! HarHarHar!

Erin said...

Joz - oh no. Another beet worshiper. It's sad...

Yes, I am a lucky girl, though Duncan - if you ever put raisins in my food, we'll have problems.

*snicker*

littlemansmom said...

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww......beets......blech.......
I know...not a very inventive response but that's all that beets get...yuck....

TheHMC said...

Ew. Beets. My Granny used to sneak those into meal times when I was little and I'd freak out on her.
You had better be wary of post traumatic stress disorder, my dear. You may possibly never recover.

therzo said...

Beets are awesome! I love them and may marry them at some point.